A Letter To My Son On His First Birthday

Sweet Dallas,

Last November, Mommy had our first year together all planned out.  When we would eat, sleep, play, work, etc.  It was going to be so perfect, because Mommy had thought of everything, and was really good at organizing stuff and making things happen by the sheer force of her will.

Then you were born, and all of those carefully laid plans fell apart.

Suffice it to say that your first year has been NOTHING like what I thought.  But suffice it to say that it has been infinitely more wonderful, terrifying, fun, sweet, and beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

Dallas, you are the most amazing person I have ever met, and it is my greatest blessing to be your Mommy.

Thank you for being so patient with me, and rewarding me with a smile that lights up the whole neighborhood every time I come into the room.  Can you please always stay this happy to see me? 

I promise you that this year Mommy will be with you more.  I promise to laugh more and stress less.  I promise to play more and work less.  And I promise to make lots more forts with your special lion blanket where we can hide out from the world, just the two of us, while you giggle.

Dallas, in your short life you have taught me so much.  You are kind to everyone, and you really know how to slow down, be in the moment, and enjoy life.  I love how you can look under the same pillow 50 times, and be delighted every single time you do it.  You have taught me to really laugh from my belly, and to not take myself so seriously.  Especially when I have sweet potatoes in my hair or peas all over my pants. 




I admire your courage so much!  This past year, I've seen you try so many new things, whether it was rolling over or sitting up or taking those first wobbly steps, and stick with whatever it was you were trying to master,  falling down again and again, but then getting up again and again and again.  You inspire me!

You have shown this same courage with all of the health challenges you have faced.  You maybe be only 19 pounds, but your heart and your spirit are ginormous.  You have been so much braver than Mommy!  Do you know that many, many kind people all over the world have been praying for you?  Mommy's prayer is that, as you grow, you would come to know and love a God who is watching over you even now.

Dallas, I feel blessed that, through all the hard times this past year, I have truly realized that all that matters is love.  All that matters is how we care for our family, our friends, and the people around us.  Thank you for teaching me to stick close to the people that I love, and helping me grow up in a way that would have been impossible without you.  I am so blessed to have finally gotten it through my thick skull that these days right now are the sweetest days, and to be enjoying every moment with my precious baby.

I love you to the moon and back, Dally-boo!  Happy Birthday!

Mommy

Lyrics from "The Sweetest Days"
You and I in this moment
Holding the night so close
Hanging on, still unbroken
While outside the thunder rolls
Listen now, you can hear our heartbeat
Warm against life's bitter cold
These are the days
The sweetest days we'll know

102.6

Baby Dallas finished his first round with I.V.I.G. on Wednesday morning.

By yesterday afternoon, we saw our first smile in a week.  You'll have to excuse the snot and dried apple cinnamon oatmeal on his face in this pic, but I was so excited that I just grabbed my phone and took a pic.

His temp stayed low all day yesterday, and this morning (Thursday), we were literally signing the papers to go home when I thought he felt a little warm.

"Maybe let's check his temp one last time," I said.

102.6

As we unpacked everything and I tried not to let the baby see my tears, I took a deep breath and thought of all your kind words, encouragement, prayers, and the personal stories you have shared, and realized that I can get through this.   However long "this" lasts.

I also realized that this is an opportunity for me to live out what I tell you every day.  To be able to see (and choose to see, even when we don't feel it) that God has a plan, and that He is always in control.  I heard someone say today that when we are in a storm, it's not so much about the storm as how we set our sail that determines where we end up.

I love that.

So, you will hear me on The Fish tomorrow.  I'm going to take a few hours break from the hospital (my mom-in-law flew in from Texas to help), and I promise I won't cry on the air or bring everyone down.  I want to encourage you, and show that, even though I've had my share of shaking-my-fist-at-the-sky moments over these past 10 days, I am choosing hope.  I am choosing joy.  I am choosing ThanksLIVING (I wrote about that in a previous blog).

So, here's the latest Baby D update:  A pair of (gulp) infectious disease specialists met with us tonight, and they are ordering more tests to see if there might be something instead of/in addition to Kawasaki disease. Although, since he responded so well to the I.V.I.G., they are thinking that's what he's got, and that it might just require another dose to really knock it out.  They started the second round a few hours ago, and after it finishes will observe him for another 24 hours to see if his temp stays normal.  

I rocked him to sleep a little while ago, singing "Jesus Loves Me" while kissing those little rosebud lips and smoothing his curls behind his ear.  You know, after he was first born, all I wanted was for life to go back to "normal."  Now, I can't imagine a day without my little bugaboo.

I'm going to wrap this up--they're drawing more blood while my husband and mom-in-law hold Dallas down in the room next door, and I want to be ready for him when he comes back in.

Here's something my mom just emailed, and I pray that it blesses you.  "In tough times, we don't have to know why.  We just have to know Him."

Here's to knowing Him.  :-)

Paging Dr. Bear

I wanted to give you a quick update on what's happening, and just thank you a million times over for your kindness and prayers for me, Dj, and Baby Dallas.

Dallas's fever was close to 104 again this morning,  and his bloodwork was starting to look worse, so the docs decided to go ahead and start treating him for Kawasaki disease.  The news was delivered by a doc that my husband has named McDreamy.

"Wow!  Look at that hair!" he said as McD left.

The staff here has just been wonderful, btw. Thank you for praying for guidance for the folks treating our little guy.  One of the nurses brought him a little stuffed bear dressed in scrubs, and Dallas has been clinging to him.

The treatment for Kawasaki is I.V.I.G.  (again, please excuse my spelling and lack of knowledge of medical stuff) for 12 hours, along with high doses of aspirin.  We are almost six hours in now, and Dallas is whimpering a little less, cooling off a bit, and actually said "Dada" for the first time in days.  It looks like his fever is down to 101 now.

Praise God!

You know, I took a break from all of this today for a moment, and the first two songs I heard on The Fish were Praise You In This Storm and How He Loves.  Thank you, Lord, for the reminder that you are good, you have not turned away from Dallas,  and oh, how you love us.

One of my sweet friends spent years in and out of the hospital with her daughter, and she told me today that one thing that really helped her was sharing her faith and comforting other parents that were going through the same thing.

So I want to ask you if you would do something for me.

Once things calm down over here, would you send anyone that you know in a similar situation my way?

I would love to pray for them and encourage them.

Just a week into this whole thing, I am also  realizing how much time I have spent on work and just being "crazy busy," almost wearing that as a badge of honor.

It hasn't taken much to convince me, really convince me, that I never want to look back one day and feel like I could have spent more time with the people I love, but chose not to.

As the guys in Revive sing in the song Blink:  "When it's all said and done, no one remembers how far we have run.  The only thing that matters, is how we have loved."

I'm going to look for ways to simplify my life, and pray that, if you are longing for more time with those you love, that God would make a way for that to happen.

I've been reading the Bible on my phone here at the hospital (Biblegateway.com is a wonderful site), and also reading Mary Beth Chapman's (wife of Steven Curtis) beautiful book, Choosing To See.  There are some incredible quotes in there that I"ll be sharing with you over the next few days, and I wanted to start with this one from Philip Yancy:  "A person who lives in faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse."

And one day we really will see the whole picture, and understand the things that are on our hearts tonight.

I love you, and I"ll be in touch soon.

I Work From My Bathroom. Maybe You Can, Too!

(Here's an article that I wrote for HisAir.net.)

When I found out I was pregnant last year, I knew that there was no way I could spend 10-12 hours away from my baby every day in traffic and at work.  Yet, I needed to work for financial reasons, and I also happen to still love what I do after all these years.

One year later, I do my daily shows on 95.9 The Fish and 99.5 KKLA from my home studio, along with VO.  And maybe you could, too!  I”ve heard from a lot of moms that are interested in trying this, so I wanted to break down how I approached my boss with this idea, what equipment I’m using, and how it works out on a daily basis.  I’ve also met some fantastic women who also make it work from home, so I’ll share some of their insights, too.

1.  The Ask

If you work in Christian radio, chances are you are already with a company that is family-oriented.  If the reason that you would like to try transitioning to a home studio is to spend more time with your kids, I encourage you to share your heart with your boss.  Radio is still a business, however, so you must also show that what happens on the air and your commitment to doing an excellent job will not suffer.  Start laying the groundwork today by being the best employee at the station!  I am fortunate that I had almost 4 solid years in the office at Salem, so they knew that I was always on time and getting everything done without having to be “nudged.”  You might also put together a proposal that details what you would like to do, and address questions like these: Will you be live or tracked?  If you track, who will load everything in at the station if you mp3 your breaks? Will you work from home every day, or a few days a week? Will you do your show at the station, but then take client calls and do production at home? If you are tracking, what time will you get the log?  In my case, I’m at home every day, and then I come in and do my show from the station when we have fundraisers (about once a month).  I also do 1-2 station events a month, such as concerts. 

Something else to consider is taking a cut in pay.  Most companies just assume that they will pay you less if you are not in the office every day.  If you are able to do that, that is a HUGE motivator in a company saying yes to something new.  Plus, you will save money on gas, car maintenance, and work clothes, since you can now “commute” in your pajamas. I love what Ruthie J from Reach FM said: Basically it came down to the fact that I can give more to the station if I can include hours out of the office and manage them at my own pace. Remote log-in has been necessary as well as having audio editing and recording capabilities at home.  The big issue, though, was coming to the understanding that 1) I am able to give more to the station if I'm allowed to from home and 2) the station benefits from my extra hours. It's been a win-win for all of us and a true blessing for me!  And that brings up something else that makes it easier for your boss to decide this is an awesome idea:  You buy the equipment, or as much of it as you can.  That way, too, if it doesn’t work out, you still have your studio and can take on other jobs.  And please, please, please….get it all in writing, so there aren’t any surprises for you or your company.  And after all of this, if the answer from your employer is still no, you can always pursue tracking opportunities with companies that are already using independent contractors.  I can even recommend some of those to you. 

2.  The Equipment

Most folks that I know who work from home do so in their walk-in closet.  If you have carpet, it is nearly perfect as is.  My friend Frankie Di Vita uses her closet as her VO booth, and then edits everything at her desk in the adjoining bedroom.  We have zero closet space, so we looked into buying a booth.  Besides the fact that they are tres expensive, I was also told that I would run out of air in about 10-15 minutes, which wouldn’t work for a show, so that was the end of the booth.  Here’s a great idea for you, if you don’t have closets, either, and a booth won’t work: Beth Warden purchased an older, Narnia-style wardrobe, lined it with foam, and then built a work station inside.

My hubby came up with the idea of turning the bathroom off of our son’s room into a studio, since he won’t be needing it for a little while.  The hubbs ripped out the vanity and toilet, and we hung some thick curtains from Bed, Bath, and Beyond over the window and shower.  My desk is where the sink was, and the walls are covered in bright orange foam.  I use a Behringer Board, Electro-Voice RE-27 mic, and Mackie speakers.  My computer is on loan from Salem, and I log in to the station from here to run NexGen.  I use Vegas for editing VO.  I also drink tons of caffeine, which seems to make everything run smoother.

3.  The Daily Routine

How will you focus on work if you have kids?  When I was pregnant, I assumed that that Baby Dallas would be peacefully napping or playing quietly by himself while I was working.  Oh, how innocent I was!  I realized that that was not going to happen about 30 minutes after he was born, and started texting everyone I knew for babysitter references.  Since I don’t need someone for 8 hours a day, I have 3 different ladies who wanted part-time that come in during the week to watch my little munchkin while mommy is upstairs doing her shift.  The Fish and our listeners deserve respect and my full attention while I’m working. 

So what will you do?  If your kids are in school, you are all set.  If you’re tracking, you might be able to get it all done while the little ones are napping or after they go to sleep.  Or, like me, you might need someone to care for them, or they could go to daycare.  After my sitter arrives, I prep and go through email.  I may have already updated Facebook and Twitter at this point, and I blog at least once a week.  My shift is 10-3, and when I finish that I talk to clients, go through email again, and prepare everything for the next day.  One other thing that I do is  check the studio right after I wake up.  If there are any computer or internet problems, I know that I”ll be heading in that day to work from the station.   You might consider tracking some emergency breaks for those days (and they will happen!) when everything crashes. 

One last thing I have discovered is that working from home can be, well…a little lonely.  Invite some of your friends over, get baby out for a music class or park visit, or at least keep in touch with friends online.  If working from home is your goal, I hope you go for it and share your success story with me!

Man Scar

Well, it finally happened.

Baby Dallas got his first cut.  !!!

You can see it above his right eye in the picture.  You can also see that he was feeling a bit better a few hours later.  :-)

My mom was watching him last week, and the details are a bit murky as far as what happened.  I was on my way back from the gym when I got a frantic text, and rushed right home.

If you have kids, you probably know that feeling when you find out your baby is hurt.  I wasn't sure whether to cry, throw up, pass out, or all of the above. 

Thankfully, the cut looked worse than it actually was--no stitches required ("Is there a silvery white layer of skin showing?" asked the nice nurse when I called the doc.), and it narrowly missed his eye.

Would it be wrong to put him in a protective helmet for the next few years?  :-)

I wanted to share this kind email from Kathi, a wonderful lady I know as "Jakob's Nan."  I absolutely love hearing stories about her precious grandson, who is now in the arms of Jesus, and I hope this one makes you smile.

Oh Lara! I am so sorry about Dallas' cut on his eye! I hope he is ok!




But..... I had to smile when I heard you share about it and chuckle a


bit..... that first time your child is hurt and the incredible


protective instinct that takes over.




The Lord has witnessed me ENTIRELY REVAMPING things in my house so it


NEVER happens again! Hahaha!




Jakob enjoyed those changes to my home to make it Jakob proof! My house


was custom made for HIM! How funny is that! But all my other beauties


(4 other granddaughters) benefit from it too!




God Bless little Dallas and his sweet tears.... Hope he feels


better....oh! And one more benefit ....now he has a "man scar"!




That's what we told Jakob ...he was "Rocky". Then Jakob would say "cut


me Mick, cut me!" like in the movie Rocky and then he would laugh at his


wound and be proud of it cuz he was tough!

How To Get Into Radio

(Big Wave Dave and I wrote this for a radio industry website.  All the good stuff came from him, and I did the rest.  :-)  Enjoy!)

If you’re in radio, chances are at some point you’ve gotten the call, email, text, or note on Facebook saying something like this: “People tell me I have a great voice. How do I get into radio?” Your first instinct might be to encourage them to go into another field, or at least beg them to stay in school and get as much education as possible, but we’ve seen enough hard-working youngsters come through our office over the past few years with a passion for radio that we always try to answer this question with some helpful advice. Advice that you can now copy and paste and use to save some time! We didn’t get into internet radio or podcasting, as that is another whole article (or maybe even a book), so this is just for the peeps interested in getting on a terrestrial station. At the end of the day, there is no way to get around the fact that hard work and persistence are involved, but we hope that these offer a bit of direction.


Move to a tiny market, where folks have time to train you. This is what happened to Lara, who was living in the bustling metropolis of Bend, Oregon, when a friend dared her to call the local Top 40 station and see if they were hiring. They were, and they were so desperate to have someone (anyone) keep the station on the air overnight and on weekends and holidays that they showed her the basics and then turned her loose on the air. She cracked the mic and promptly forgot her name, the name of the station, and had tons of dead air when she didn’t have three songs playing at once. But she was on the air, and improving (very slowly) with every shift. The same holds true for Big Wave Dave. BWD worked Friday nights at the college station, and then while everyone was recovering from their Friday night escapades, Dave would get up at 4am Saturday morning and drag himself to WLAC and produce a talk show about gardening from 5-10. Summers, he did everything from taking out the trash to reorganizing filing cabinets for stations in Derry and Milford, NH! He also played the “morning show” lackey: fetching coffee and donuts to washing the station R.V.

If someone is not afraid to cold call or email PDs, the small market station is a great approach. You freely admit that you have no experience, but let them know that you will work the shifts no one wants and do whatever needs to be done if they will give you a shot, whether that’s loading voice tracks from a bigger market or running the board during remotes. A strong work ethic seems to be a rare thing these days, and it’s exciting for a boss to encounter someone who has passion, even if they don’t have experience or knowledge (yet).

School. This could be radio school, or a regular two or four-year college. People always seem surprised that a degree doesn’t seem to count for much in the real world of radio—we’ve seen folks with experience and no degree get hired over folks with fancy degrees and no experience time and time again. And certainly, when it comes to radio schools, you must encourage people to do their research and make sure it is a credible institution. We always tell anyone planning to go the school route that the most valuable things they will get out of it will be relationships (with other students that might go on to work in radio, and teachers, who are usually working radio professionals), experience on a school station (getting comfy behind the mic is essentially the same process everywhere, whether you have 100 people or 100,000 listening), and an internship at a local station (where you will meet more people and get practical experience). It’s also great to ask the school for contact info for former students, who will be brutally honest in how and if the school helped their career. The important item to stress here is that you have a command of the language and know how to use it. That’s where a two-punch combination of classes like English, Creative Writing, Drama and/or Voice are worth their weight in gold. Once you have a working knowledge of the basics, you can learn how to run a board, operate a microphone and run software just about anywhere.

Starting off at a station (in any size market) in an off-air capacity, such as the street team, receptionist, or sales assistant, and then shifting to the programming department. We’ve seen street teamers put in a few months of washing the station van and helping listeners spin the prize wheel and then move up to a board op position…and they didn’t have to move to a new town or go to school for that. Plus, you’ll be getting free training! The important thing is to get a foot in the door, be nice to everyone you meet, and volunteer to stay late or come in on the weekend if someone is willing to train you on the board or help you do an aircheck in the production room. The off-air jobs usually don’t require any kind of experience, so if you are fresh out of high school or college and desperate to get in with a station, this might be the way to go. Did we mention that you should be nice to everyone at the station, and cheerfully go above and beyond the entry-level job you’ve been hired for? Plus, most jocks love to hear themselves talk (or maybe that’s just us), and sharing their thoughts on radio with an eager youngster sometimes helps us remember why we got into the biz. Check your sense of “entitlement” and pride at the door. Ask permission to use the production room at 2 o’clock in the morning and work on your hand and vocal skills. Be engaged and self-motivated. Believe us when we say, someone will notice.

Wedding Songs, Christian Music Style

Hi,

I would love recommendations for contemporary christian songs that would be appropriate for my wedding.
Thanks in advance for any tips!
Krista/Aliso Viejo


Hi Krisat!
These are all just beautiful, and I hope that one of them will work for your special day :-)
CONGRATS!!!

God Gave Me You by Dave Barnes


Bless The Broken Road by Selah


You and Me by Lifehouse


Because You Loved Me by Ana Laura


Love Song by Third Day


In Your Eyes by Jill Parr


When God Made You, He Must Have Been Thinking About Me by Newsong with Natalie Grant


Maybe I'm Amazed by Bryan Duncan
(If YOU think of any others, let me know and I"ll add 'em to the list!)

Why I Love My Job

Here's a quick blurb I wrote for The Fish's sister station, KKLA.  KKLA is celebrating 25 years of being on the air (whoo hoo!), and this will be in an upcoming issue of KKLA Magazine.  Everything that I say about KKLA is also true of The Fish.  I listened to KKLA in the car, and then would plug my headphones into my computer when I got to work and rock out to The Fish.  :-)  I would love to hear what YOU love about YOUR job!  lara@thefish959.com 

I am blessed to have the greatest job in the world.




I was a KKLA listener before I started working here! I discovered the station after I rededicated my life to the Lord. I literally just started scanning around the radio dial, and stopped when I heard someone talking about the Bible. From that point on, every morning and afternoon in the car I listened to Dr. J. Vernon McGee, John MacArthur, Chuck Swindoll, and Frank Pastore (who taught me everything I know about politics).



I began to come to a deeper understanding of God's Word through these programs, and really grew as a Christian. I had a lot of bad habits from years of living life on my own, but God transformed my life and gave me a new start. Four years ago, I got a job at KKLA's sister station, The Fish, and then added my night shift at KKLA two years ago.



I feel very fortunate to be part of a station that God is using to change lives! To think that someone out there is hurt and angry and scared (just like I was) and might find hope in Christ through a KKLA program is just the best thing ever.

World Vision Video. Watch this, sponsor, and save a life.

Why should YOU sponsor a World Vision child?

Chances are money is tight, and you have expenses that you need to take care of every month.

Why give $1/day to World Vision? Please take one minute and 9 seconds and watch this.



You can sponsor by calling 1-866-819-hope (4673), or by clicking here. Thank you for your heart for children!!!

Unleashing Your Inner Homemaker: Chocolate Pudding With...Avocado?

Is it weird that I enjoy eating my son's baby food?

Let me back up.

I was a little (okay, a LOT) intimidated by making food for Dallas.  Maybe because the fanciest thing I"ve ever done in the kitchen involved adding some honey and sea salt to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and telling my hubby that "it was made with a special ingredient: love." 

Baby D had been enjoying his Earth's Best rice cereal and jarred fruits and veggies for a few weeks when my  mom-in-law came to visit with a book called Blender Baby Food by Nicole Young. 

I left it on the counter, but kept opening it and browsing through different recipes.  One Sunday, we had some fresh blueberries in the fridge, and I decided to just try that recipe and see what happened. 

First of all, Dallas looked like he was wearing blue lipstick.  And second of all, he gobbled up the homemade stuff in about two seconds. 

That was all the convincing I needed.  My inner homemaker was unleashed!

I made apples, avocados, and sweet potatoes.  Yum!   I started boiling eggs and mixing in an egg yolk every other day (for brain development, one book said).   He got whole organic yogurt (cream on top!) with finely ground flaxseed and mashed kiwi mixed in.  In fact, I spent fifteen minutes a night planning D's meals for the next day, and then comparing them against previous days to make sure he was getting a variety of foods.

And I am still doing this!  And liking this!  To quote a previous post:  Who AM I?!  :-)

The great news is that the hubbs and I are feeling better because we are eating all of this fresh food, too.  You can just eat it straight, or have a little fun with what's left of the blended food after baby dines.

Important note:  Baby gets the straight fruit or veggie...don't give them any of these creative concoctions!!!!  You definitely want to check out some good books (like Blender Baby Food or Super Baby Food) to find out specifics on how to prepare each food (blueberries need to be strained, etc.) and for all kinds of info on kitchen hygiene and safety.

For example, the avocado can be turned into chocolate pudding!

No, I am not crazy.  :-)

Add some chocolate or cacao powder, a little maple syrup or agave nectar to taste, and voila!  It's really creamy and doesn't take like something you should be dipping chips into.  And, it's much better for you than the traditional stuff. 

Or, you could just smear the plain avocado on your face and settle in for a few minutes of relaxation. 

Or how about those leftover blended apples? 

Add some butter, a little pumpkin pie spice, the agave or maple syrup, and you've got....apple pie in a bowl!

What about blended cauliflower, you ask? 

Stir in some butter and sea salt, and chow down on...what tastes like mashed potatoes!

I would love to hear about YOUR creative adventures in baby food. 

P.S.  We are talking about how the Harvest Crusade changed  your life!  Hop on over to our Fish Facebook to join the conversation.  I was blessed to be a part of the Harvest broadcast on The Fish on Sunday night, and had the privilege of meeting Cathe and Brittany Laurie (seriously, could those two be any cuter and nicer?!).  They have started an AWESOME ministry that encourages more seasoned women to reach out to younger women and teach them what they've learned.  Plus, Brittany has a section where she shows some simple sewing projects you can do for your family.  Check it out at http://www.virtue.harvest.org/.  Wait 'til you see the adorable lace-trimmed bloomers!

Thousands of Free Coloring Pages For The Kids!!!

Last night, I was feeding Baby Dallas his yummy beet/winter squash/rice cereal entree, when he started crying every time the spoon came near him  He seemed hungry, though, and kept opening his mouth, but obviously had some issues with the spoon.

Then I remembered that he had been watching longingly earlier as I ate cereal for breakfast and a kale salad for a snack.

He wanted to feed himself! 

What's next?  Marriage?  Moving away and leaving Mommy?

I gave him his little melt-in-your-mouth baby cheerios, and he starting gurgling and going "doodoodoodoo"
and using his hands and newfound pincer grasp to chow down all by himself.

Do I even need to tell you that (shocker!) that made me cry?  :-)

He can't say "I do it myself!" or "Mom, I"m booorrrreddddd!" yet, but I see what's on the horizon, and it looks exhausting, lol.

My friends Jack and Erin found some awesome links to help keep your kids busy with free coloring pages, so fire up the printer, grab your nontoxic, soy-based crayons, and enjoy!

Over 1000 coloring pages at Crayola.com


Veggie Tale coloring pages at BigIdea.com

Disney coloring pages at Disney.com

Reading The Bible

We are reading through the whole Bible!  It's one chapter a day, and today is Genesis 35.  Jump in and join us!  Every week, I"m blogging about something from the past week's reading.  I am not a Bible scholar, but I"m just sharing my impressions and things that I have heard over the years that might relate to it.  Please feel free to email or leave a comment on what speaks to your heart!  I hope that you find yourself falling in love with God's Word. 

We really got into Jacob's story this past week.  He was quite the schemer in his younger years, wasn't he?  We also learned that Esau means "hairy."  :-)  Esau was so hairy, in fact, that when Jacob pretended to be him (You know, when he stole Esau's blessing?  Right after he traded Esau some stew for his birthright?) he had to cover his arms with goatskins so that Isaac (who was nearly blind at the time) would think smooth-skinned Jacob was his firstborn.

Also, Jacob was so in love with Leah that he worked for her father for YEARS for the honor of having her as his wife.  I can barely get my hubby to pick up his socks for me, lol.

I"d like to focus on a passage from Genesis 28 today, and focus on something that a pastor named Jeff Pruitt shared in a sermon.  In this passage, Jacob is on the run from Esau, who he feared would kill him.  He has come to this place called Luz, which was not a very desirable area to be.  I believe that today we might refer to it as a dump.  It was certainly not anywhere that one would want to linger. 

10 Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Haran. 11 When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. 12 He had a dream in which he saw a stairway [d] resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. 13 There above it [e] stood the LORD, and he said: "I am the LORD, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. 14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."



16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it." 17 He was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven."
What Pastor Jeff said is that our situation might not be so different from Jacob's.  We are in a desolate place, and we are depressed or angry or grieving...we are in our Luz.  But God is right there with us, working on our behalf and promising us a beautiful future, even if we can't see it.  God sees it--He knows the end from the beginning.  That's another cool way that Scripture works, because we read about how promises were made and fulfilled all those years later.  If we see God being faithful there, we can trust Him to be faithful to us. 

I also love how Jacob (whose name means "heel," btw) is another deeply flawed individual who was used by God to bring forth a great nation.  I think there is a tendency to look at people that we hear about in the Bible as being perfect (none were, with the exception of Christ), or having superhero powers, etc., but when you really get to know their stories you realize they were just like you and me.  And you see, too, that God spoke to Jacob when he was still a mess!

"Surely the Lord is in this place!"

Isn't that wonderful?

"I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

Isn't that comforting?

This reminds me of the song "Before The Morning" by Josh Wilson.  He talks about how life is not a snapshot, and that someday we'll see the bigger picture.  We might see it on this earth, or we might see it in Heaven, but we will see it. 

Would you dare to believe, that even now in your Luz, God is with you?  And that there is great joy in store for you?

Empty Frames

I recently realized that I am homesick for home. Which is strange, because I have a home and a wonderful family. I think it's really the idea of a place that is comfy and cozy and filled with wonderful smells and food that has captured me. For so long, home was simply a place to sleep, shower, and wolf down a bowl of fiber cereal before running out to start a 17-hour workday. Most of my life, I have barely had more furniture than a bed and one small couch, although we have now added a table and chairs and another small couch, plus a crib, to that. :-)




Do you know what I mean, though? It can be a cold, cruel world, and I want to have a place where my son can relax and know that he is loved and accepted for exactly who he is. A place that maybe he will long for one day when he is older and I am crying every night when he is at college. A place where not only baby Dallas can be nurtured and grow, but where that's a possibility for my hubby and me, too.



It's funny, because my first house came somewhat close to this in feeling, if not in furniture. I got into Shabby Chic, and spent countless Sundays at the flea market looking for empty frames (to be hung on the walls like artwork), benches (to be used as coffee tables), pitchers (to be used as vases for flowers), and white peely-paint anything. There is something warm and inviting about pieces that have a history, although it always made me kind of sad as I browsed at markets, wondering why their owners would let them go. I wanted to take all of them home! :-)



When my hubby and I got married, he said that he could not handle being surrounded by pink and seafoam green, so I gave away all of my treasures (yes, I cried) and we started over with a modern, minimalist approach (where having only a bed and a couch works FOR you). And while our house is pretty (and now covered in baby gear!), it's never made me feel like it represents my heart.



Anyone else tried to completely change who they were because of a man?



So, last night, as I paged through a book called Vintage Vavoom, I told my hubby that I"d like to move back toward Shabby Chic with the house. He looked up from his stuffed baked potato, and immediately said, "Do we have to have white peely--"



"YES!"



I can't wait to go find some empty frames. :-)

P.S.  I have also been overcome with the urge to Scrapbook!!!  Do you scrapbook?  Would you be interested in doing a Scrapbooking party with me?  I"m trying to see if we can put one together.  You can leave a comment or email lara@thefish959.com.

The Toddler That Ate My Baby!

Happy Weekend from Dallas!

Reading The Bible: Giving Isaac Back To God

Genesis 22




1 Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"

"Here I am," he replied.

2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."



(If you are reading through the Bible with me, today is Genesis 28. We are doing one chapter a day until we finish Revelation. Do jump in with us! We are reading about Jacob, who was quite the schemer in his younger years. )



This is the first time I"ve read the story of Abraham being called to sacrifice Isaac since I became a mom.



I used to look at it as a nice story of how Abraham trusted God, but now it tears my heart out.



I pictured Dallas's sweet, trusting face as I read about Abraham cutting the wood for the offering, and setting out with Isaac and his servants.



It took three days to get to the place God told him about. I would have been hysterical the moment God suggested I sacrifice my child, but Abraham (it seems) calmly went about all of this with the utmost trust in God.



I pictured Dallas's little pouty lips as I read about how Abraham carried the knife and the fire himself. Isaac kept asking where the sacrifice was (do you think he may have been getting a little suspicious?), and Abraham assured him that God would provide the lamb for the offering.



As I read about how Abraham arranged the wood for the altar, tied up Isaac, and then raised the knife to kill him, I couldn't stop trembling. All I could picture was Dallas's chubby wrists, and the hands that cling to my neck, being tied up. I"m crying right now while I type this.



But.....



I love seeing the word "But" in Scripture! It seems to always mean that God is about to do something big.



But the angel of the Lord called out to Abraham to tell him to stop. Yay!



God knew at this point that Abraham would not withold anything from Him, even the son that was the promise of Abraham becoming a great nation. No Isaac, no nation. In the words of verse 12: Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."



Notice something familiar in that last verse? Check out John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.



God DID sacrifice His Son, His Only Son. Even though Christ begged for Him to stop, that there might be another way, the cup did not pass.



I heard a pastor saying once (I can't remember who...I can remember random actors from 80s movies, but rarely the important stuff. Not that 80s movies are not important.) that we are not asked to sacrifice our precious babies because Christ Himself was the Sacrifice once for all, as we see in Hebrews 10: 11Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. 12But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. 13Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, 14because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.



What a beautiful thing God's plan is! When we read stories like this, with foreshadowing of Christ, you can't help but think that whoever wrote it (Moses, in this case, under the influence of the Holy Spirit) must have known the end from the beginning. And that also means that we can trust Him with our lives, since He has a unique plan for us, and has loved us since before time began. Pretty awesome, isn't it? :-)

10 WAYS TO BLESS A NEW MOM

Maybe a friend has just welcomed a bouncing bundle of joy, and you are getting ready to go visit. You do not have kids, though, so you are not really sure if you should bring something or just show up and coo over how cute the new little one is. Or maybe you DO have kids, but it has been years since those crazy newborn days and they are kind of a blur at this point.

Well, those wonderful, terrifying, awesome, sleep-deprived, horrifying, beautiful early days are still VERY fresh in my mind. And truth be told, now that Dallas is eight months old as I write this, I am a little nostalgic for the days when he would sleep on my chest for hours. Or stay where I put him when it was time for a diaper change. Am I the only one that has had to change a diaper on a child that is standing?! Or trying to crawl away?! Anyone?!

Anyway, help is here. I give you...10 Ways To Bless A New Mom!!!

1. Bring or send food. Let me say that again. Bring food! A real meal (translation: not a power bar, bowl of cereal, or handful of potato chips) is a luxury in the early days (or what I like to call the endless night). Home-cooked or takeout, the new parents will probably wolf it down in about ten seconds.

2. Do not stay long. It can be tempting for a new mom to feel like she has to entertain friends and family that come over, but she should be resting and just enjoying the baby. And trying to get more than 15 seconds of sleep. Try to limit your visit to about 20 minutes.

3. Clean. Hey, how about washing a dish while you are visiting? Or tossing a load of laundry in? Or taking the trash out? People were always telling me to "let things go" and "sleep when the baby sleeps," but the truth is that someone has to keep the household running.

4. Hold the baby. Tell mom that you are going to hold the baby while she naps or takes a shower, and that you will get her immediately should there be an emergency. Barring that, she is to forget about the two of you and just relax for 30-60 minutes.

5. Pray. Pray for the parents and the baby, and pray with them while you are visiting. I remember that I got a call from a ministry that I had donated to when I was right in the throes of postpartum depression. They were randomly calling to see if there was anything they could pray for me about, and I ended up sobbing on the phone to this nice lady named Virginia as she prayed for me and for Baby Dallas's colic. It meant the world to me.

6. Do not keep calling or emailing if you are not getting a response. Some people will be texting and emailing from the moment the baby is born, and others will not get back to you until shortly after the baby's first birthday. Respect that.

7. Recommend a good babysitter or nanny, or offer to babysit yourself when the parents are ready to get out in a few weeks or months. It is the scariest thing in the world to leave the love of your life with anyone, so a trustworthy referral or an offer from a friend is worth its weight in gold.

8. Listen. Really listen. Do not just gush about how fabulous it is to be a new mommy and are you not so excited and is this not the GREATEST THING EVER if she seems a little out of sorts. People would say that to me, and I would plaster this maniacal-looking grin on my face and nod like, YES, IT'S THE GREATEST THING EVER, while silently screaming, SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, AND APPARENTLY I AM THE ONLY ONE!!!

9. Bring something for Mom. A friend brought me some lavender bath salts right after Dallas was born. Yes, it took me five months to find time to use them, but AAAAAAHHHHHH when I finally did.

10. Did I mention that you should bring food? :-)

Preaching The Gospel With Our Lives

"Preach the Gospel always.  If necessary, use words."

That's attributed to St. Francis, and truer now than ever before.

Most people today have heard the Good News.  But they don't believe it.  You cannot imagine how many people have revealed to me that they see no evidence of Christ, and that they are sick and tired of people who are "mean Christians."  The ones who quoted Scripture at them as they screamed at them, or went to church every Sunday and then said horrible things about them during the week, or dated them and told them how sinful they were and not "up to their standards."

"Why would I go to church to be treated that way?" one lady told me.  "I can get that anywhere, anytime.  And usually the other people are nicer."

It is the way we love each other and care for each other that will convince people that Christ is real, and that there truly is Good News for them.  When we look out for our neighbor (and by neighbor, I mean everyone besides us), and treat all people with kindness and respect.  Then, people will be asking us why we are different.

My friend Alena preaches the Gospel with her life.  She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and she radiates kindness and joy.  In fact, she signs her emails to me with "Joy!"  :-)  When people find out that she has fostered over 160 special needs children, they gasp and go, "Why? HOW?"

This is her story.

My daughter was born with a medical condition that forced us to be in the hospital repeatedly for weeks at a time. During these stays we met a little girl, Latoya, that had been abandoned in the hospital since birth. She had a medical condition that required her to be hooked to a feeding machine 24 hours a day.

During one of our hospitalizations we were told that Latoya's condition had worsened and she was not going to survive. It was at that point God started speaking to me to take this little girl home with us. I knew God had mistaken me for someone else, as I already had three daughters myself (ages 1, 3, and 5).

I tried to convince God that it wasn't me He wanted and yet I continued to hear God telling me to take her home. After a while I couldn't even sleep at night, because all I could think about were reasons why I couldn't take her home. 

Finally, I couldn't take it any more and I told God that if He really wanted me to do this He was going to have to make it very clear to me. At that point I did what I always do when I need answers--I picked up my Bible. But this time instead of following my normal Bible reading schedule, I dropped my Bible on the hospital bed and picked it back up and started reading the page it opened to.

I started reading the first chapter of James. I thought I was home safe until I got down to verse 27. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress....".

I could no longer could run from His call. What I didn't know was that it was a call not only for this situation, but a call on my life. Within 2 months I had learned how to care for Latoya and had her home with us. Since that point I have fostered over 160 foster kids with special needs,  and our family now is blessed with 15 kids through adoption. Their disabilities vary. Some are blind, some are deaf, some are autistic, some developmentally delayed, but all of them are a vital part of my family. 

I have no special talents or abilities to be able to do this. Every bit of energy, strength, or wisdom it has required to take care of these special kids has been a gift from the Lord. I can say without any doubt that what God calls you to do, He enables you to do. With thousands of children waiting for permanent homes, I am sure God is calling others to this mission field. Maybe even you!

Alena Strickland
In Their Defense
"Defend the rights of the fatherless. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves." Psalm 82:3, Prov.31:8

Alena, thank you for everything you do and everything you are. 

Maybe you've thought about adopting or fostering?  Or maybe you would like to find out how you could help support a family (buying an extra package of diapers, offering to babysit, etc.) that has made this commitment?  You can email Alena at intheirdefense@gmail.com.  

Have a wonderful weekend!

Reading The Bible: It Only Takes A Glance

Genesis 19:24-26




24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.



I would love for you to join me in reading through the Bible! Today is Genesis 21, and we are doing a chapter a day. I wonder when we will finish? 2013? You know, I've read through the Bible in a year in the past, but even with a few chapters at a time I found myself rushing to just get it done and check it off my ginormous to-do list. This way, I've found I really look forward to my one chapter, and I"m able to really take my time and savor it.



But seriously, why is it SO HARD (at least for me) to focus on God's Word?! It's easy for me to focus on reality tv, or watching Dallas giggle when the fan blows his one tiny curl up in the air. Why is that? Is it because His Truth is only revealed to us when He knows we are serious about seeking him?



Jeremiah 29:13

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.



God, we are seeking you and we want to know Your heart. Please reveal yourself to us through Your Word.



In the above passage, God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah for their wickedness. If you've read this chapter, you know it's a pretty sordid story. Lot was Abraham's nephew, and he had settled there and had a family (wife and two daughters). Lot was visited by two angels who told him that God was going to destroy the city, and they warned him to take his family and get outta there, like yesterday. When Lot told his sons-in-law, they thought he was joking. The family stayed put through the night (wouldn't you have been gone by then?), and even the next morning they were hesitant about leaving. In The Message translation, it says that the angels had to grab them by the hand and lead them out of the city! The instructions were to flee, to not stop, and to not look back.



Sometimes it only takes a glance, doesn't it?



I wonder if Lot's wife was looking back to see what God's destruction looked like.



Or was she looking back with longing at her familiar home?



Maybe she was sad that she had to give up the parties and her crazy lifestyle?



I had a lot of bad habits for many years. Time and time again, I tried to ease my way out of them by cutting back here and there. But there would always come that moment where I was invited to the party or the club and I would think, "I'm doing fine. I'm strong! I can go and not indulge in anything. Besides, I haven't seen my friends in forever."



Sometimes it only takes a glance, doesn't it?



I ignored God's instructions to flee, to not stop, and to not look back. And I was destroyed, yet again.



If you are trying to change your life, is there anything that you are looking back at with longing? What are you clinging to? Even though you know that it might ultimately be the end of you.



Maybe things would have been different for Lot's wife is she really knew what or Whom she was running TO. (Maybe she did and just ignored it--I wish I were a Bible scholar! If you know the answer to this, please email or post in the comments.)



Oswald Chambers writes: The reality of God's presence is not dependent on any place, but only dependent upon the determination to set the Lord always before us.



Setting the Lord before us is not based on how we feel, but upon making a decision...the determination...to do so.



When the old temptations come calling, in the form of a friend or a bottle or anything else, will you set the Lord before you?



When you are scared about moving forward from what's comfortable and familiar, but not good for you, will you set the Lord before you?



When you feel like you are missing out on fun and exciting and new things, will you determine to set the Lord before you?



For me, it took determining that there was no going back, EVER. And I got a glimpse of what life looked like with God. It looked and felt like peace and happiness and safety.



I pray that you will get a glimpse of that, too.



Sometimes it only takes a glance, doesn't it?

Who AM I?

The last time I tried to sew, I was in eighth grade and it was home ec class.



The assignment was to sew a pocket onto a shirt.



I somehow not only sewed the pocket to the shirt, but the front of the shirt to the back.



During the cooking portion of the semester, I tried to take an apple pie out of the oven with my bare hands.



Suffice it to say that I got a C in that class. I"m still amazed I did that well. :-)



So, imagine my surprise recently when I found myself wanting to....SEW!



I want to make little outfits for Baby Dallas, sew curtains for his room, and turn his future artwork into a placemat. Maybe I could even create a vintage outfit for him with a pattern from the 50s! (Somebody stop me!)



Also, my husband has been saying for months that we (me) should make our own baby food. This weekend, we (me) made blueberries for Dallas, and he loved it.



I loved it, too. D got this look of delight when he tasted fresh blueberries, and then proceeded to smear them all over his mouth.



He looked like he was wearing lipstick, or (from a certain angle) like a crazy clown.



It was easy, too! He can't have cut up fruit yet (NEVER give a small child a whole blueberry!!!!! Choking Hazard!!!!), so I put 2 cups of blueberries and some water in a pan on the stove. You bring it to a boil, and then simmer for about 15 minutes or til the berries or tender. Blend that baby up and voila...dee-lish-ous mush!



Did YOU find that you suddenly wanted to be creative when you had a baby?



What are some fun projects you've done for or with your kids?



And are there any books or sites you could recommend in the Comments so that we can all start gathering twigs, fabric scraps, and items from the bulk bin to soak, sprout, and bake into yummy somethings? :-)

:-)

What happens when things don't turn out the way you planned?




I've been accused of being a little controlling in my life.



But, seriously, just because I always need to know what's going to happen so I can make a plan, and just because I have lists directing me to which to-do lists I should look at first every day, it doesn't mean I have control issues.



:-)



The same way that Butterfly Kisses brought me to an ugly cry a few weeks ago, In My Arms by Plumb sent me into heaving sobs yesterday (the lyrics are at the end of this post).



I listened to this song probably every day during my pregnancy, but honestly, it's been hard for me to listen to any of that music from that time until recently. I remember how hopeful and excited I was, and then how devastated I was in my new role as a mom.



You see, when I was pregnant, I knew exactly how life would be once Baby Dallas arrived. I knew what time I would work, what Dallas would be doing while I was working, how we would all be sleeping through the night right away, and how easy it would be to breastfeed.



:-)



I"ve talked about the chaos of those early months in some earlier posts, but let me just say here that NOTHING went the way that I planned. A few words:



Depression. Colic. Crying. Breastfeeding problems. Travelling husband. Work/Computer problems. No sleep. No family nearby. No help from friends.



There was a commercial that ran between Thanksgiving and Christmas, when Dallas was brand-new, that I will try to reenact for you here:



(A new mom, with dewey skin and sparkly eyes and a clean nightgown, blissfully rocking a chubby six-month-old baby masquerading as a newborn. Dad appears and turns on the Christmas tree lights. The tree is huge and flawlessly decorated.)



Mom: What are you doing up? It's 2 a.m.!



Dad: I couldn't wait. It's her first Christmas.



(Dad whips out a box containing a piece of jewelry for mom. Closeup of Mom's extremely dewy skin and surprised expression that her husband has given her bling at 2 a.m.)



Dad, now holding the still-quiet "newborn": You think she'll remember her first Christmas?



Mom, gently resting a hand on Dad's shoulder and showing off her bling: I know I will.



Jingle: Every kiss begins with _______!



And scene!



This always ran during football, when I was planted in my spot on the couch (we have a permanent groove in our couch from the DAYS I spent there trying to calm Dallas) and covered in spit-up, when I was neither dewy nor sporting bling.



I would scream and throw a pillow at the tv, going "This is why new moms feel disappointed! Because we think we are having a baby with the qualities of a six-month-old...that can at least hold their head up....and that everything will be in soft-focus, our husband will get up with us to hold the baby and help us, and people will give us jewelry!!!!"



And scene.



Sometimes, it takes us losing control and losing everything we thought we could count on for God to become real to us. Maybe we don't realize that we need God until God is all we have. And ultimately, we will come through the valleys in our life stronger for being broken.



What is God doing in your life right now?



Have you lost the job that was your identity?



The home that you spent all of your money on?



Maybe you are facing a health challenge that has forced you to slow down?



Know that you are not alone.



I heard someone saying recently that God not only knows our name, but He will never forget it.



He knows what's happening, and He has allowed it because He truly does know better than we do. There is a divine plan at work that we aren't able to see, or at least we can't see all of it. But someday, we will know the whole story. And I think we will be grateful that we weren't the ones in control.



I can now see that if things had gone the way I wanted, and I had a quiet baby that was just content to sit there and smile, I would have left him there, sitting and smiling, while I got back to "normal" life. You know, checking email every five minutes, running around to different events, texting like a madwoman, and basically going 500 miles per hour every day.



Instead, I've basically been wearing Dallas for eight months, and we are now so incredibly close. I can truly say I have been BLESSED with a high-needs baby.



:-)



Whether you are juggling an insane amount of work and feeling out of control, or maybe you just had a baby and are feeling out of control, I want to encourage you to wait on the Lord, and to trust that He has something greater in store for you than anything you could imagine right now.



In My Arms by Plumb (grab a kleenex, paper towel, or beach towel to mop up the tears)





Your baby blues

So full of wonder

Your Curly Que's

Your contagious smile

And as I watch

You start to grow up

All I can do is hold you tight

Knowing



Clouds will rage in

Storms will race in

But you will be safe in my arms

Rains will pour down

Waves will crash all around

But you will be safe in my arms



Story books

Are full of fairy-tales

Of kings and queens

And the bluest skies

My heart is torn just in knowing

You'll someday see

The truth for lies



Clouds will rage in

Storms will race in

But you will be safe in my arms

Rains will pour down

Waves will crash all around

But you will be safe in my arms





Castles they might crumble

Dreams may not come true

Cause you are never all alone

Cause I will always

Always love you



Hey I

Hey I

Will love

HOW DALLAS BEATS THE HEAT

No sleeves!  :-)

READING THE BIBLE: GOD HIMSELF WILL SHUT THE DOOR

Am I the only one that would like to know what skincare products Sarah (wife of Abraham) was using?




Here is a gal that I think is close to 90, and she is so hot that Abraham tells her she must pretend to be his sister so that he is not killed by the Egyptians. (Genesis 12)



If you are reading through Genesis with me (or have read the whole book before), are you finding that there is more drama and scandal than an episode of daytime tv?



And, oh yes--there are some truths sprinkled here and there, too. :-)



It is a beautiful thing how we are already seeing redemption, and how God meets our human failures, in this first book of the Bible.



I would love to hear what stands out for you in the comments section.



I am LOVING getting back into God's Word, and if you'd like to join us we are doing one chapter a day. Today is Genesis 14, tomorrow Genesis 15, etc.



This past week we were just introduced to Abraham (Abram at the beginning, before God changed his name), and we read all about Noah and the flood.



Did you see a glimpse of Christ in Noah's story?



In her book What The Bible Is All About, Henrietta Mears talks about how "Noah was saved from the flood by the ark (a perfect type or Old Testament picture example of Christ, our ark of safety). When he came out, the first thing he did was to erect an altar and worship God." (p. 30)



(As we talk about the Bible, you'll see me refer to this book a LOT! I am not a Bible scholar, but I want to share my impressions of what we are reading and will try my best to make sure I get my facts straight and interpret everything properly.)



Keeping this in mind about our ark of safety, I want to share a part of this story that terrifies me, a part that they seemed to have glossed over in Kids Church when we talked about Noah and sang songs about the rain coming down and animals marching two by two.



The civilization before the flood has been compared to that of Greece or Rome. In other words, they weren't just a bunch of savages, but had education and culture. They were also seriously wicked. In fact, if it weren't for Noah, you would not be reading this blog right now, nor would I have been around to write it. Noah was the ONE righteous man on earth, and he was the reason God didn't completely wipe out the human race.



God told Noah that he would send a flood, and for 120 years (!!!) as he built the ark Noah warned people about what would happen.



Even with all the nasty stuff that humanity was engaging in, they got another 120 years to turn from their wicked ways.



You know how many people survived the flood?



Eight.



God saved Noah, his wife, their sons, and their daughters-in-law.



Eight people on the entire planet.



I think it's easy (I am certainly guilty of this) to think that, if WE had lived back then, we would have totally listened to Noah and been right behind the hippos coming up the little walkway into the ark. I meah, DUH! How dumb could those people have been, right?



But would we really have believed God when He said what He was going to do? Remember, every other person on earth thought Noah was nuts.



The part that really makes my blood run cold is found in Genesis 7:



11-12 It was the six-hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month that it happened: all the underground springs erupted and all the windows of Heaven were thrown open. Rain poured for forty days and forty nights.

13-16 That's the day Noah and his sons Shem, Ham, and Japheth, accompanied by his wife and his sons' wives, boarded the ship. And with them every kind of wild and domestic animal, right down to all the kinds of creatures that crawl and all kinds of birds and anything that flies. They came to Noah and to the ship in pairs—everything and anything that had the breath of life in it, male and female of every creature came just as God had commanded Noah. Then God shut the door behind him. (The Message)



Then God shut the door behind him.



There is something so FINAL about that. Not just that a door closed, but that God himself shut it. There was no getting in or out at that point.



As the waters rose around a young mother, what was going through her mind?



When baby Dallas bonks his head, there is always that second between the bonk and the earsplitting scream and REAL TEARS that follow. And in that one second, everything I should have done and could have done to prevent this outcome flashes through my head, and I think, please, no! Please let him be okay. Please let me go back ten seconds.

But I can't go back.



God has told us in His word about the "flood" that is to come. Are we listening? Are we turning from our wicked ways, or continuing to party and thinking that there is plenty of time? Maybe we are not even openly defiant, but have just decided that all this talk about God is a nice story and has nothing to do with us.



One day, when the door to Christ, our ark of safety, is closed (either by our death or the rapture/His return) it will be too late for anyone who has refused to repent. And there will be an eternity to wish for being able to go back and make a different choice.



But the door will have been shut by God himself.

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!

One of my mom friends was telling me about her mommy group.




"All those women do is complain about their husbands not helping. I don't get it. I mean, my hubby unloads the dishwasher and makes the bed and takes the baby on the weekend so I can sleep in a few extra hours. When I talk about that at the group, all those women just look at me!"



I looked at her.



If you are a mom, do you struggle with not feeling appreciated?



Before I had Dallas, I used to wonder what the big deal was.



What do you want? I thought. A medal for taking care of a kid? How hard could it be?



I'm sure it's moments like that that make God smile, since He knows exactly what's coming.



I"ve gotten a lot of emails from moms who write anonymously, and pour out their pain of feeling like they are all alone and ready to drop from exhaustion, and that their husbands just don't get it.



My meltdown came one Friday morning while my hubby was getting ready to go away for the weekend to a party for a friend who was getting married. He was playing with Dallas (who was almost 3 months at the time), while I raced around to throw the laundry in, prepare for my show, and kind of get things started for the day before he left. As I was scooping the kitty litter, Dj told me to hurry up because he needed to leave. Mid-scoop, I just lost it and started to cry and scream about how he would never understand what it would ever be like to be a working mom and the primary caregiver for our baby, and how nice it must be to play with the baby before and after work and for a few hours on the weekend and just do whatever one pleased. Oh, and did he realize he had been stepping over a laundry basket for TWO DAYS without thinking of asking if he could carry it downstairs for me? And how about those socks stuffed into the corners of the couch? And .)WHY did he insist on throwing Dallas's dirty diapers on the FLOOR instead of in the diaper genie ("Because it makes him laugh?" Dj offered.)? But have FUN snowboarding with the guys this weekend and playing video games...I"ll just be here scooping the cat litter in the sweatsuit I slept in while the baby screams. Buh-bye!



Dj wisely removed the scooper from my hand (I think he was afraid I was going to throw it at his head), and seemed genuinely surprised at my outburst. He felt that he had changed his life dramatically since Dallas arrived, listing off how he turned down invitations to go hang out with the guys "a few times a week," and was only working out three days a week now instead of seven.



"AAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!" I screamed. "I haven't worked out since NOVEMBER!!! You will never get it!"



I think we still act out some version of this, even five months later. Yes, we have learned to balance things a little better, and he has learned to ask how he can help me (although I still find socks dangling from faucets) more often.



I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments, but it seems to me that the parent who is primarily with the child will always feel that they are doing way too much, while the parent who is working will always feel like they are going above and beyond what they need to do to help you. But I think that is the difference right there--when Dj does something to take care of the baby, it almost feels like he is doing me a favor. On the flip side, taking care of the baby is my life. I can't make a move or a decision without considering how if affects Dallas. It is all-consuming and nonstop.



And please hear my heart on this! If my hubby got to work from home and be with Dallas all day, I would be so insanely jealous that THAT would not be a good scenario, either. I'm very grateful to have the set up that I do, it's just that I feel overwhelmed about 98% of the time. The other 2% of the time that I"m feeling confident is usually followed by a studio crash where the internet goes out or a message from my hubby that he will be going on the road again.



Maybe you're like me, and you don't want to let anyone down. Kids. Spouse. Work. Friends. And what about quiet time with God and church and volunteering? I am a classic Type A personality, and I am just now starting to realize that I can't do it all, even though I have a cool baby carrier that allows me to hold the baby and have my hands free. I remember that someone once said, "You CAN have it all. Just not at the same time." :-)



So, what has to go? That's what I will be deciding over the next few months. I talked about simplicity in an earlier post, and how much I crave it. Maybe you will join me in taking these next few months to pray and decide the most important things in your life, and to let the rest of it go, and never look back.



If I can give myself some breathing room (and you give yourself some, too), maybe it won't matter so much when the hubby goes snowboarding with the guys for the weekend.



I feel like I"m a little all over the place with this post, but I just want you to know that if you are struggling you are not alone. I know that I have felt like the only mom who doesn't know what she's doing (I asked a good friend whose baby was born the day after Dallas if she was scared and tired and confused, and she said, "No, this just all comes really naturally. Did I tell you that she's been sleeping through the night since the day we came home? This is a peaceful time."), so my promise to YOU is that I will always be honest about what a mess I am. :-) And if I somehow figure out some kind of secret for getting my act together, I will blog about it. :-)



I want to leave you with a sweet story my mom told me about my nephew, who is five and named Fox.



My sister works, and her husband stays home with Fox. They've been doing this since he was born, and it works really well for them. They are both wonderful parents, and Fox is just precious.



He just graduated from kindergarten, and at the graduation ceremony they were asking all the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up.



Most of the kids gave the usual answers: fireman, doctor, singing astronaut.



However, when Fox got up there, he looked around at everyone and proudly announced that when he grew up, he was going to be a stay-at-home dad. :-)

BISCUITS ON THE DASHBOARD

Are you ever haunted by missed opportunities to bless someone?



I may not have time to take a shower every day, but I make it a priority to get Baby Dallas out for some fresh air on a walk. He is usually out by the time we take the first corner.


A few days ago, we were strolling around our usual block when I noticed a little boy about Dallas's age, around 8 months. He was just precious, with sparkly eyes and curly black hair, standing up in the driver's seat and hanging on to the steering wheel of a car that was parked at the curb. His dad was in the passenger seat. "That's so cute," I thought. "Dad is letting him pretend to drive while they wait for mom in one of the shops up the road." I glanced over, and then back down to Dallas, who looks especially chubby when he is asleep--he's got the pouty lip and cheek thing going on, which I hope lasts forever. I know they warn us about walking and texting, which almost sent me right into a pole once, but walking while cooing at a sleeping baby can be hazardous, too.


Round the block we went, and as we came around the corner again a few minutes later, I saw the car again. This time, the little boy smiled and waved at me, and I smiled and waved back.


In those few seconds, I saw something that broke my heart.


That little boy was dressed in a worn-out onesie, like what kids wear to sleep in, and there was a plate of 2 biscuits on a paper plate on the dashboard.


The back of the car was stuffed with blankets and trash bags overflowing with clothes.


And Dad had stubble and the kind of sad expression as he smiled and watched his little son that tears came to my eyes.


I was glad I had sunglasses on so he couldn't see that.


I wish I could tell you that I went right up to the car and asked if they were okay, and told them about some safe shelters where families can sleep.


I wish I could tell you that I went home and grabbed some food and brought it back for them.


I wish I could tell you that I kept waving at the little boy, and then asked his dad if they needed any clothes, since our sons looked about the same size.


But I can't.


I kept walking.


Would a kind word or some baby jeans or oatmeal banana cereal from me have changed their lives?


Maybe not. But maybe yes.


I have gotten really great with rationalizing my way out of being available to be used by God.


I feel like, as I rush about my days, that there are no margins in my life. Maybe you have scheduled every second of your day like this. And it works as long as there is no traffic, no sick baby, no lost keys, no equipment meltdown, or anything else that would hold you up for more than ten seconds. But even when it's "working," you find yourself asking, "Is this really what it's all about? Why do I feel so tired all the time? And like I"m missing something?"


Will you join me in the quest for a simpler life? Even though I kind of think I"ve been trying to do this since the baby was born, I have failed miserably, because I now find myself busier than ever with work, and appointments, and things on my to-do list. I panicked the other day when I accidentally deleted my to-do list on my phone (hmmm....maybe it wasn't an accident?), and frantically started a new one and tried to fill it with everything I could remember from the other one.


What needs to be on my to-do list, or better yet, seared on my heart, is to be sensitive to the people that God has put in my path.


Someone who, at that very moment, might be going, "God, if you're real, I need a sign. Please. Let me know you hear me."


"It's not safe," I told myself as I pushed the stroller home. "Anyone could park on the street with their kid, and be up to no good. I have to protect my child."


I kept seeing that little face grinning at me as he clung to the sides of the steering wheel.


"I'm a busy person! I've got a ton of email to get through, a show to prepare for, and a house to clean."


I thought about that movie The Pursuit of Happyness, where Will Smith and his son are sleeping in the public restroom, and someone is trying to get in.


"I'm sure I"ll see them again, and then I'll do something nice."


I thought about the little biscuits on that paper plate on the dashboard.


I haven't stopped thinking about those biscuits.


And I haven't seen them again.