THE STELLA DALLAS GUIDE TO BREAKING HEARTS

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THE STELLA DALLAS GUIDE TO BREAKING HEARTS

Buckets. Rivers. Oceans of tears. King Vidor's STELLA DALLAS (1937) is a twelve hanky weeper that stars one of the greatest of the great actresses of all time, Barbara Stanwyck, in the title role. I think Stanny might be my all-time favorite, and Stella is a fantastic, fascinating character because she is over-the-top and garish, but also incredibly generous and loving; there is something completely lovable about her and she is someone that you want to root for. However, she doesn’t realize that she is too much (too loud, too unsophisticated, too ambitious) for the refined, upper-class peeps that she wants to associate with, and they are certainly not rooting for her. One of the many things that makes this film so devastating is that from the beginning, we (or at lease I) see where things will most likely end up, yet we are powerless to stop it, even by shouting at our tv, computer screen, or iPhone as we slowly cry our eyelashes off. No one does heartbreak like Old Hollywood, so I give you:

Five Ways To Channel Your Inner Stella Dallas

5. Aspire to a higher station in life, when we all know it's going to be a train wreck when you get there. Young Stella has her eye on the finer things in life; as we might say today, she has champagne tastes on a beer budget. Her ticket to the good life comes in the delicious package of Stephen Dallas (John Boles), a rich, eligible bachelor who is smitten by Stella and marries her after a whirlwind courtship. He whisks her away to an elegant home, dresses her in fine apparel, takes her to high-society events, and dotes on her after their baby girl is born.

4. While your husband is in New York working most of the time, have the inappropriate guy (Ed, played by Alan Hale) you recently danced with in front of your hubby over to the house, serve him a drink and then make sure he is holding your precious baby girl as your husband WALKS IN THE DOOR from NYC. Surprise!

3. Get dressed up in your “fancy” clothes, the ones you have made yourself because you are no longer Mrs. Stephen Dallas and money is tight, put on lots of makeup, wear high heels and a ginormous hat and stroll through the high-society crowd at the ritzy vacation spot looking for your daughter (Laurel, played by Anne Shirley) and the mother of the boy she likes. Look around as the crowd makes fun of what they consider your vulgar appearance.

2. After your daughter hustles the two of you away from the ritzy resort without telling you why (Laurel has a heart of gold and doesn’t want you to be hurt by the nasty comments), settle into your berth on the train for some much-needed rest. Be wide awake as you hear some young girls that know Laurel ripping you to shreds, and let the realization that this crowd will never accept you play out on your face in a subtle way. When your sweet daughter looks into your berth so see if you have overheard, pretend to be asleep.

(In order to NOT give away the ending, I am going to omit a scene that should be here. If you have seen the film, it is where Stella meets with Helen to pitch her an idea, followed by what Stella does when Laurel comes home.)

1. Stand in the dark with the other peasants outside the big, beautiful house in your sad coat and hat, tears streaming down your face, as you look through a window at your only child with the man she loves. Make sure your face is perfectly framed between the pointy iron bars of the fence that are a physical reminder of a class line you can never cross, and as you walk away, change your face subtly from longing and sadness to relief that your sacrifices were worth it, as your daughter will have the life you always wanted.

Love classic film? Check out my new Classic Movie Recall podcast on Itunes or at www.ClassicMovieRecall.com. 

5 Lessons Learned From 1950's SUNSET BOULEVARD

Billy Wilder’s 1950 film noir classic, SUNSET BOULEVARD, won three Academy Awards and has inspired countless viewers to wrap their heads in leopard-print turbans while perfecting lines like, “We didn’t need dialogue. We had faces!”

Why do people still freak out over this film? Perhaps it’s William Holden’s cleft chin, or nostalgia for the Golden Age of cinema. Could be that people enjoy experiencing the worst of Hollywood made by the best of Hollywood. Or, maybe we all just like seeing Gloria Swanson, a true silent screen goddess making the mother of all comebacks in this film, do her Charlie Chaplin routine.

Here are a few things we learned while watching the film for the umpteenth time and deciding that we are firmly #TeamNorma:

1. When a delusional former silent film star (Norma Desmond) falls for you (Joe Gillis) – try not to end up floating in her pool, even if you do make the most handsome corpse ever.  Next time you want to leave, try sneaking out the back door while she is playing bridge with Waxworks buddies like Buster Keaton.

2. If you happen to be a former silent film star that has not had a hit in, oh….decades, it is important to pay attention to your budget. When hiring staff, save some coin by hiring someone like Max, who can chauffeur, be a butler and play the organ. Yes, he may have once directed you and been your husband, but—bygones!

3. Don't mix work and, um, pleasure. If you accept the role of Norma Desmond’s male “companion”– be that and only that. If she wants you to work on her comeback screenplay where she will play a teenager, tell her to to hire a ghostwriter. And if you want to hone your writing skills, start a blog.

4. While living with a former silent film star, don’t fall in love with any sweet ingénues like Betty Schaefer. True love does not exist in film noir, and you don’t have time for it anyway because you are busy attending funerals for monkeys and driving through the hills with Norma and Max.

 

5. If YOU are the former silent film star and are losing your grip on reality, one must always remember their adoring public and make an entrance like the queen of the screen you once were. Assemble the police and the press, and descend the stairs of your mansion to deliver one of the most famous lines in film history: “All right, Mr. DeMille. I’m ready for my close-up.”

 

 

 

And by the way...don't bother looking for Norma's house on Sunset Boulevard; it was actually on WILSHIRE Boulevard, and has since been torn down. 

 

Hear my Classic Movie Recall review of SUNSET BOULEVARD here. 

 

This blog was co-written with Tracey LaMonica.

Tea For Two With A Side Of Old Hollywood Glam At The Millennium Biltmore Hotel

The Millennium Biltmore Hotel, a Historic Cultural Landmark, is located on Grand Avenue, right across the street from the Central Library, and has retained its classic glamour for almost 100 years. It opened in 1923, and at the time was the largest hotel west of Chicago. Even now, surrounded by skyscrapers, it still looks and feels imposing with a solid eleven stories. It is beautiful and warm on the inside, and the perfect place to kick back and relax with an afternoon tea break.

The Biltmore has always had a strong Hollywood connection, from the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences being founded here, to the rumor that MGM Art Director Cedric Gibbons sketched a drawing on a napkin that was the basis for the Oscar statue, to hosting eight Academy Awards ceremonies in the 1930s and 1940s.

It is tough to pin the décor down to one style; is it Mediterranean? Beaux Arts? Spanish? Yes, yes, yes, and more. As you stroll in, make sure you look up in the Galleria to see the hand-painted, frescoed mural ceiling done by Italian artist Giovanni Smeraldi (one of the restaurants in the hotel was named after him).

Afternoon tea happens Wednesday through Sunday (reservations are recommended), in the Rendezvous Court, which was once the hotel's lobby. The tables are set up beside a gently gurgling fountain, under Italian chandeliers, and at the foot of an impressive Spanish Baroque staircase that you may have seen on the TV show Entourage.

 The Princess Tea includes a pot of tea, a freshly baked scone with cream and preserves, and a selection of freshly baked cakes. The Victorian Tea (which is what I--Lara-- had on my visit) came with more than enough food and drink to fill up two people, served on a three-tiered stand on tables covered in white tablecloths and set with china featuring a sweet rose pattern.

There is a wonderful variety of teas to soothe away stress and help you forget that you are surrounded by the busy streets of Downtown Los Angeles, including Ceylon and India, Black Tea Blended, English Royal Breakfast, Masala Chai, Lemon Echinacea (good for a cold), and Apricot Cinnamon. 

The tea sandwiches are cut into tiny diamond shapes...with the crusts off, of course! My selection included egg salad and asparagus, smoked salmon and dill butter, cucumber and cream cheese, and ham and cheese on pumpernickel. 

The pastries include fruit tarts, chocolate truffles, and  freshly baked scones with homemade Devonshire cream and strawberry preserves that will most likely have you licking the heavenly clotted cream off of your fingers.

(This blog is also up at www.ClassicMovieRecall.com, where you can also hear my podcast.)

Contact Info:
Millennium Biltmore Hotel
506 South Grand Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90071
213-624-1011