After I Do by Taylor Jenkins Reid is part of the BookSparks 2014 Summer Reading Challenge. To see the complete list of books, click here.
In the immortal words of one of the characters in the Tom Cruise classic, Cocktail: "Everything ends badly. Otherwise, it wouldn't end."
After I Do kicks off with a scene that is going to be painfully familiar to many couples: Fighting over the fact that someone has forgotten where they parked the car, which is really about so much more than just the car. As someone who has lost the car in the parking lot of Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, where the argument in the book takes place, it made me cringe.
Lauren and Ryan met in college at UCLA and have been married for many years, but (cue Earth, Wind, and Fire's "After the Love is Gone") something has gone very, very wrong in their relationship. As we take a quick tour through their early years, it is not obvious right away what that something might be. They certainly have the typical issues when it comes to talk about money and kids, but there comes a point when they both realize that they cannot stay in the marriage they have created. But, neither one is quite ready to utter the word "divorce." So, what do you do?
Lauren and Ryan explore options to try to find a way to stay together (open marriage being one of them), but finally settle on taking a year apart to try to save their relationship. What comes next, I think, will really connect with anyone who has had that moment where they realized that they wish they loved their spouse they way they loved their dog (or cat). I believe this idea of taking time apart has a name; is it controlled separation? I just remember hearing about some nonfiction books that have been written on the subject, so it is an actual thing.
After I Do is full of searing, brutal honesty as Lauren and Ryan try to unravel where things went off the rails. What happens when the things you once loved about someone start to drive you crazy? (One friend of mine loved that her boyfriend was so outgoing. After they got married, she was always accusing him of flirting with the waitress.) What do you do when the future, which was always "out there," arrives and does not turn out the way you envisioned it? And do love and happiness actually have anything to do with a solid marriage?
This book should be a hit with book clubs, as there are so many things that are just ripe for discussion, and there were even some book club questions in the back of my paper copy. SPOILER ALERT: Do NOT read the questions before you have finished the book, as they will give some surprises away. I wish I could invite Taylor the author to a book club meeting and ask her how much of her real life was in After I Do, as she is young, super cute, and lives in Los Angeles with her hubby, just like Lauren. Maybe I will run into her at a baseball game? For more on Taylor Jenkins Reid, click here.
You will definitely go on a journey when you read this book, and you might even be a little shocked at how ugly marriage can become when two people lose sight of who they are, yet find that they are still tied to each other (unless you are already married). Rather than making me look at marriage as a failed institution, though, After I Do reminded me of the beauty in having a shared history, favorite pasta dishes, and building a home together. This is a fantastic read, and I recommend it to everyone!
