Maybe a friend has just welcomed a bouncing bundle of joy, and you are getting ready to go visit. You do not have kids, though, so you are not really sure if you should bring something or just show up and coo over how cute the new little one is. Or maybe you DO have kids, but it has been years since those crazy newborn days and they are kind of a blur at this point.
Well, those wonderful, terrifying, awesome, sleep-deprived, horrifying, beautiful early days are still VERY fresh in my mind. And truth be told, now that Dallas is eight months old as I write this, I am a little nostalgic for the days when he would sleep on my chest for hours. Or stay where I put him when it was time for a diaper change. Am I the only one that has had to change a diaper on a child that is standing?! Or trying to crawl away?! Anyone?!
Anyway, help is here. I give you...10 Ways To Bless A New Mom!!!
1. Bring or send food. Let me say that again. Bring food! A real meal (translation: not a power bar, bowl of cereal, or handful of potato chips) is a luxury in the early days (or what I like to call the endless night). Home-cooked or takeout, the new parents will probably wolf it down in about ten seconds.
2. Do not stay long. It can be tempting for a new mom to feel like she has to entertain friends and family that come over, but she should be resting and just enjoying the baby. And trying to get more than 15 seconds of sleep. Try to limit your visit to about 20 minutes.
3. Clean. Hey, how about washing a dish while you are visiting? Or tossing a load of laundry in? Or taking the trash out? People were always telling me to "let things go" and "sleep when the baby sleeps," but the truth is that someone has to keep the household running.
4. Hold the baby. Tell mom that you are going to hold the baby while she naps or takes a shower, and that you will get her immediately should there be an emergency. Barring that, she is to forget about the two of you and just relax for 30-60 minutes.
5. Pray. Pray for the parents and the baby, and pray with them while you are visiting. I remember that I got a call from a ministry that I had donated to when I was right in the throes of postpartum depression. They were randomly calling to see if there was anything they could pray for me about, and I ended up sobbing on the phone to this nice lady named Virginia as she prayed for me and for Baby Dallas's colic. It meant the world to me.
6. Do not keep calling or emailing if you are not getting a response. Some people will be texting and emailing from the moment the baby is born, and others will not get back to you until shortly after the baby's first birthday. Respect that.
7. Recommend a good babysitter or nanny, or offer to babysit yourself when the parents are ready to get out in a few weeks or months. It is the scariest thing in the world to leave the love of your life with anyone, so a trustworthy referral or an offer from a friend is worth its weight in gold.
8. Listen. Really listen. Do not just gush about how fabulous it is to be a new mommy and are you not so excited and is this not the GREATEST THING EVER if she seems a little out of sorts. People would say that to me, and I would plaster this maniacal-looking grin on my face and nod like, YES, IT'S THE GREATEST THING EVER, while silently screaming, SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, AND APPARENTLY I AM THE ONLY ONE!!!
9. Bring something for Mom. A friend brought me some lavender bath salts right after Dallas was born. Yes, it took me five months to find time to use them, but AAAAAAHHHHHH when I finally did.
10. Did I mention that you should bring food? :-)
7.26.2010
7.23.2010
Preaching The Gospel With Our Lives
"Preach the Gospel always. If necessary, use words."
That's attributed to St. Francis, and truer now than ever before.
Most people today have heard the Good News. But they don't believe it. You cannot imagine how many people have revealed to me that they see no evidence of Christ, and that they are sick and tired of people who are "mean Christians." The ones who quoted Scripture at them as they screamed at them, or went to church every Sunday and then said horrible things about them during the week, or dated them and told them how sinful they were and not "up to their standards."
"Why would I go to church to be treated that way?" one lady told me. "I can get that anywhere, anytime. And usually the other people are nicer."
It is the way we love each other and care for each other that will convince people that Christ is real, and that there truly is Good News for them. When we look out for our neighbor (and by neighbor, I mean everyone besides us), and treat all people with kindness and respect. Then, people will be asking us why we are different.
My friend Alena preaches the Gospel with her life. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and she radiates kindness and joy. In fact, she signs her emails to me with "Joy!" :-) When people find out that she has fostered over 160 special needs children, they gasp and go, "Why? HOW?"
This is her story.
My daughter was born with a medical condition that forced us to be in the hospital repeatedly for weeks at a time. During these stays we met a little girl, Latoya, that had been abandoned in the hospital since birth. She had a medical condition that required her to be hooked to a feeding machine 24 hours a day.
During one of our hospitalizations we were told that Latoya's condition had worsened and she was not going to survive. It was at that point God started speaking to me to take this little girl home with us. I knew God had mistaken me for someone else, as I already had three daughters myself (ages 1, 3, and 5).
I tried to convince God that it wasn't me He wanted and yet I continued to hear God telling me to take her home. After a while I couldn't even sleep at night, because all I could think about were reasons why I couldn't take her home.
Finally, I couldn't take it any more and I told God that if He really wanted me to do this He was going to have to make it very clear to me. At that point I did what I always do when I need answers--I picked up my Bible. But this time instead of following my normal Bible reading schedule, I dropped my Bible on the hospital bed and picked it back up and started reading the page it opened to.
I started reading the first chapter of James. I thought I was home safe until I got down to verse 27. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress....".
I could no longer could run from His call. What I didn't know was that it was a call not only for this situation, but a call on my life. Within 2 months I had learned how to care for Latoya and had her home with us. Since that point I have fostered over 160 foster kids with special needs, and our family now is blessed with 15 kids through adoption. Their disabilities vary. Some are blind, some are deaf, some are autistic, some developmentally delayed, but all of them are a vital part of my family.
I have no special talents or abilities to be able to do this. Every bit of energy, strength, or wisdom it has required to take care of these special kids has been a gift from the Lord. I can say without any doubt that what God calls you to do, He enables you to do. With thousands of children waiting for permanent homes, I am sure God is calling others to this mission field. Maybe even you!
Alena Strickland
In Their Defense
"Defend the rights of the fatherless. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves." Psalm 82:3, Prov.31:8
Alena, thank you for everything you do and everything you are.
Maybe you've thought about adopting or fostering? Or maybe you would like to find out how you could help support a family (buying an extra package of diapers, offering to babysit, etc.) that has made this commitment? You can email Alena at intheirdefense@gmail.com.
Have a wonderful weekend!
That's attributed to St. Francis, and truer now than ever before.
Most people today have heard the Good News. But they don't believe it. You cannot imagine how many people have revealed to me that they see no evidence of Christ, and that they are sick and tired of people who are "mean Christians." The ones who quoted Scripture at them as they screamed at them, or went to church every Sunday and then said horrible things about them during the week, or dated them and told them how sinful they were and not "up to their standards."
"Why would I go to church to be treated that way?" one lady told me. "I can get that anywhere, anytime. And usually the other people are nicer."
It is the way we love each other and care for each other that will convince people that Christ is real, and that there truly is Good News for them. When we look out for our neighbor (and by neighbor, I mean everyone besides us), and treat all people with kindness and respect. Then, people will be asking us why we are different.
My friend Alena preaches the Gospel with her life. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and she radiates kindness and joy. In fact, she signs her emails to me with "Joy!" :-) When people find out that she has fostered over 160 special needs children, they gasp and go, "Why? HOW?"
This is her story.
My daughter was born with a medical condition that forced us to be in the hospital repeatedly for weeks at a time. During these stays we met a little girl, Latoya, that had been abandoned in the hospital since birth. She had a medical condition that required her to be hooked to a feeding machine 24 hours a day.
During one of our hospitalizations we were told that Latoya's condition had worsened and she was not going to survive. It was at that point God started speaking to me to take this little girl home with us. I knew God had mistaken me for someone else, as I already had three daughters myself (ages 1, 3, and 5).
I tried to convince God that it wasn't me He wanted and yet I continued to hear God telling me to take her home. After a while I couldn't even sleep at night, because all I could think about were reasons why I couldn't take her home.
Finally, I couldn't take it any more and I told God that if He really wanted me to do this He was going to have to make it very clear to me. At that point I did what I always do when I need answers--I picked up my Bible. But this time instead of following my normal Bible reading schedule, I dropped my Bible on the hospital bed and picked it back up and started reading the page it opened to.
I started reading the first chapter of James. I thought I was home safe until I got down to verse 27. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress....".
I could no longer could run from His call. What I didn't know was that it was a call not only for this situation, but a call on my life. Within 2 months I had learned how to care for Latoya and had her home with us. Since that point I have fostered over 160 foster kids with special needs, and our family now is blessed with 15 kids through adoption. Their disabilities vary. Some are blind, some are deaf, some are autistic, some developmentally delayed, but all of them are a vital part of my family.
I have no special talents or abilities to be able to do this. Every bit of energy, strength, or wisdom it has required to take care of these special kids has been a gift from the Lord. I can say without any doubt that what God calls you to do, He enables you to do. With thousands of children waiting for permanent homes, I am sure God is calling others to this mission field. Maybe even you!
Alena Strickland
In Their Defense
"Defend the rights of the fatherless. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves." Psalm 82:3, Prov.31:8
Alena, thank you for everything you do and everything you are.
Maybe you've thought about adopting or fostering? Or maybe you would like to find out how you could help support a family (buying an extra package of diapers, offering to babysit, etc.) that has made this commitment? You can email Alena at intheirdefense@gmail.com.
Have a wonderful weekend!
7.21.2010
Reading The Bible: It Only Takes A Glance
Genesis 19:24-26
24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.
I would love for you to join me in reading through the Bible! Today is Genesis 21, and we are doing a chapter a day. I wonder when we will finish? 2013? You know, I've read through the Bible in a year in the past, but even with a few chapters at a time I found myself rushing to just get it done and check it off my ginormous to-do list. This way, I've found I really look forward to my one chapter, and I"m able to really take my time and savor it.
But seriously, why is it SO HARD (at least for me) to focus on God's Word?! It's easy for me to focus on reality tv, or watching Dallas giggle when the fan blows his one tiny curl up in the air. Why is that? Is it because His Truth is only revealed to us when He knows we are serious about seeking him?
Jeremiah 29:13
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
God, we are seeking you and we want to know Your heart. Please reveal yourself to us through Your Word.
In the above passage, God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah for their wickedness. If you've read this chapter, you know it's a pretty sordid story. Lot was Abraham's nephew, and he had settled there and had a family (wife and two daughters). Lot was visited by two angels who told him that God was going to destroy the city, and they warned him to take his family and get outta there, like yesterday. When Lot told his sons-in-law, they thought he was joking. The family stayed put through the night (wouldn't you have been gone by then?), and even the next morning they were hesitant about leaving. In The Message translation, it says that the angels had to grab them by the hand and lead them out of the city! The instructions were to flee, to not stop, and to not look back.
Sometimes it only takes a glance, doesn't it?
I wonder if Lot's wife was looking back to see what God's destruction looked like.
Or was she looking back with longing at her familiar home?
Maybe she was sad that she had to give up the parties and her crazy lifestyle?
I had a lot of bad habits for many years. Time and time again, I tried to ease my way out of them by cutting back here and there. But there would always come that moment where I was invited to the party or the club and I would think, "I'm doing fine. I'm strong! I can go and not indulge in anything. Besides, I haven't seen my friends in forever."
Sometimes it only takes a glance, doesn't it?
I ignored God's instructions to flee, to not stop, and to not look back. And I was destroyed, yet again.
If you are trying to change your life, is there anything that you are looking back at with longing? What are you clinging to? Even though you know that it might ultimately be the end of you.
Maybe things would have been different for Lot's wife is she really knew what or Whom she was running TO. (Maybe she did and just ignored it--I wish I were a Bible scholar! If you know the answer to this, please email or post in the comments.)
Oswald Chambers writes: The reality of God's presence is not dependent on any place, but only dependent upon the determination to set the Lord always before us.
Setting the Lord before us is not based on how we feel, but upon making a decision...the determination...to do so.
When the old temptations come calling, in the form of a friend or a bottle or anything else, will you set the Lord before you?
When you are scared about moving forward from what's comfortable and familiar, but not good for you, will you set the Lord before you?
When you feel like you are missing out on fun and exciting and new things, will you determine to set the Lord before you?
For me, it took determining that there was no going back, EVER. And I got a glimpse of what life looked like with God. It looked and felt like peace and happiness and safety.
I pray that you will get a glimpse of that, too.
Sometimes it only takes a glance, doesn't it?
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