Maybe a friend has just welcomed a bouncing bundle of joy, and you are getting ready to go visit. You do not have kids, though, so you are not really sure if you should bring something or just show up and coo over how cute the new little one is. Or maybe you DO have kids, but it has been years since those crazy newborn days and they are kind of a blur at this point.
Well, those wonderful, terrifying, awesome, sleep-deprived, horrifying, beautiful early days are still VERY fresh in my mind. And truth be told, now that Dallas is eight months old as I write this, I am a little nostalgic for the days when he would sleep on my chest for hours. Or stay where I put him when it was time for a diaper change. Am I the only one that has had to change a diaper on a child that is standing?! Or trying to crawl away?! Anyone?!
Anyway, help is here. I give you...10 Ways To Bless A New Mom!!!
1. Bring or send food. Let me say that again. Bring food! A real meal (translation: not a power bar, bowl of cereal, or handful of potato chips) is a luxury in the early days (or what I like to call the endless night). Home-cooked or takeout, the new parents will probably wolf it down in about ten seconds.
2. Do not stay long. It can be tempting for a new mom to feel like she has to entertain friends and family that come over, but she should be resting and just enjoying the baby. And trying to get more than 15 seconds of sleep. Try to limit your visit to about 20 minutes.
3. Clean. Hey, how about washing a dish while you are visiting? Or tossing a load of laundry in? Or taking the trash out? People were always telling me to "let things go" and "sleep when the baby sleeps," but the truth is that someone has to keep the household running.
4. Hold the baby. Tell mom that you are going to hold the baby while she naps or takes a shower, and that you will get her immediately should there be an emergency. Barring that, she is to forget about the two of you and just relax for 30-60 minutes.
5. Pray. Pray for the parents and the baby, and pray with them while you are visiting. I remember that I got a call from a ministry that I had donated to when I was right in the throes of postpartum depression. They were randomly calling to see if there was anything they could pray for me about, and I ended up sobbing on the phone to this nice lady named Virginia as she prayed for me and for Baby Dallas's colic. It meant the world to me.
6. Do not keep calling or emailing if you are not getting a response. Some people will be texting and emailing from the moment the baby is born, and others will not get back to you until shortly after the baby's first birthday. Respect that.
7. Recommend a good babysitter or nanny, or offer to babysit yourself when the parents are ready to get out in a few weeks or months. It is the scariest thing in the world to leave the love of your life with anyone, so a trustworthy referral or an offer from a friend is worth its weight in gold.
8. Listen. Really listen. Do not just gush about how fabulous it is to be a new mommy and are you not so excited and is this not the GREATEST THING EVER if she seems a little out of sorts. People would say that to me, and I would plaster this maniacal-looking grin on my face and nod like, YES, IT'S THE GREATEST THING EVER, while silently screaming, SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, AND APPARENTLY I AM THE ONLY ONE!!!
9. Bring something for Mom. A friend brought me some lavender bath salts right after Dallas was born. Yes, it took me five months to find time to use them, but AAAAAAHHHHHH when I finally did.
10. Did I mention that you should bring food? :-)
